Attack of the Drunk Tourist Packs in Chianti!

Lucca, Tuscany, Italy

Chianti, wine country Tuscany Italy
If you have the ballionies to drive in Italy, the next thing to do after wandering the church and gelato shop encrusted streets, is to rent a car and drive out to wine country. Our next base was a cozy B & B in Panzano– a little village in Chianti, where people leave doors unlocked and everybody knows each other.

There are things to fear here– though. Beware of drunk German tourists. They get so trashed tasting wine they cant even hold their cameras straight to snap a picture. Beware of menus in restaurants. We thought we were ordering a steak for 4 euros–what a deal–it was ENORMOUS, and delicious!! But I didn’t read the small print that’s written in Italian. When we got the bill…the steak was 65 bucks! Turned out it was 4 euros per gram! But it was a pre-historic steak that’s taking several days to eat. In fact, I’m still picking pieces out of it out of my teeth as I write this. The steaks around here scare me a little. I love vegetarian food, but every so often, grilled wilde-beast is quite enjoyable.

Aside from super sized beef, there’s massive amounts of grapes and olives, and every road we drive down looks the same, except for one country road that’s dotted with a few roadside hookers sitting in plastic lawn chairs on the side of the road. I guess these grape truck driver guys aren’t exactly chick magnets…so these women are out there taking away their tension and their money.

We had a false start…when I dropped the GPS and we couldn’t figure out where to go. The renta car company made us buy a new one. So we had an inside track view at a Mega Mall…I guess this is where all the locals shop. I didn’t have a problem buying the GPS after getting reamed for the steak! I figure..hey, why not grab a hooker while I’m at it? Will she throw in a pedicure?

I programmed the new GPS with a calming female voice named ‘Jane’ so I don’t have to feel like I’m getting yelled at if I miss a hairpin turn uphill…one of millions I gunned in first gear.

Next, we checked out San Gimignano and Pisa, then Lucca. Checking out the mideival towers in San Gimignano, can see where the architect who designed the twin towers got his ideas. All I can say is that if you’ve seen one medieval village that’s been turned into a shopping mall…you’ve seen em all.

But you still have to take those photos! In Italy…old is good!!

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