How to Ditch Jet Lag at Milan’s Secret Happy Place

When you land in Milan — or anyplace else in the world — your body clock is more confused than a dog in a kitty litter box. The time zone is wrong.. You left the here and now at home and you flew into the future. Is it time to eat sleep or poop? Your body won’t do any of them. Ok, well–I can always eat. But the food feels wrong like you’re still digesting that $19 cheese & cracker snack you bought at the airport.

Here”s advice for jet lag when you arrive: dump your bags at your hotel and go to Milan’s secret happy place- the QC Terme Milan Wellness Center. For 40 euros you can spend hours at this spa soaking in pools and waterfalls, enjoying a buffet of unlimited wine, smoothies and healthy appetizers. This magical wonderland can wash away all those bad in-flight movies, screaming kids and passengers who smell like socks and garlic and spend 20 minutes in the restroom—alone.

Don’t even think about going to this amazing place. Just do it ! As soon as you dump your luggage, get an Uber ride to QC Terme Milan . And I hope to God you packed a swim suit. This is not a naked place. You have to wear proper spa gear. If you’re reading this and you’re still home, toss a swimsuit in your suitcase . Even if you aren’t going anywhere by the time you read this blog you”ll be ready to get the hell out of town and go to Milan!

An Uber ride to the spa might be pricey– like in the $25 to $35 range, but well worth the spend. You won’t have to buy dinner if you stay for Happy Hour, which starts at 7:30 pm. In Milan it”s called “appertivo.” There you can enjoy a huge spread of delicious healthy food and drinks–and vino! Imagine that!

Here’s what happened : I walked into the lobby with my travel buddy, Christine, trying not to look like a couple of lost tourist dorks who can’t speak Italian. We look like Italians so the hostess rattled off instructions in Italian. “This is our first time,” I said looking even dorkier when I asked her to repeat everything in English. “Alora” she says. Italians say this word a lot. When they’re trying to figure out what to say to you. Most people in Milan can speak enough English to help us get what we need.

Pay at the reception desk. Proceed to the cubby on your left and get a robe, flip flops, towels and water bottles. . Then go to the locker room, put your swim suit on and stuff your clothes into a locker. You have to drop in a 1 Euro coin into the lock, which releases a key that you wear on your wrist after you lock up your things. Take a shower then head for the pools. There’s two huge pools outside and several downstairs on the lower level.

I recommend starting outside if the weather is nice. Have a good long soak in one of the warm pools where you can gaze at the old fortress wall built in 600 AD. The property is surrounded by ancient red bricks of a distant world long gone. But their shadows loom over you as a reminder that anything can be transformed into a place of peace and happiness.

I was surprised to see so many young people there — mostly 20″s and 30″s. But wait a minute —- no wonder they’re happy. Unlimited wine, food, and dark places to canoodle make for a perfect date night or a healthy alternative to bars for socializing. If you’re not with a date or significant other don’t worry — its a very diverse crowd of all ages. Friends, families and solo travelers can all feel comfortable wandering from warm waters to cool showers, salt rooms, saunas, and lounge areas where you lay quietly in the darkened theatre of wonders to turn off your brain and listen to the jungle.

There are waterfalls, stone slabs that rain showers on you from head to toe, and plenty of peace and quiet. Stay as long as you need to –it’s open till 11:30 pm. You can get a day pass and also book a massage. I recommend booking online ahead of time. If you want to add a service to your visit, book it online at their website.

In a few hours the jet lag melts away. Your body begins to figure out when it’s time to sleep. To demand that cup of coffee. And finally poop.

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